NEW YEAR. NEW YOU. OR… THE SAME OLD PATTERNS AGAIN?

New Year’s resolutions – psychology

(My personal brand – based on my experience, knowledge and observations)

Do you know this?

Every year, the same scenario.

New Year — new life.

A new ME, a new planner, new resolutions, a new set of pretty highlighters that are supposed to magically change your mindset…

or maybe just send an intention to the universe and let it handle everything 😉

And then… February arrives.

And let’s be honest — shit.

Not a “small dip”.

Not a “temporary lack of motivation”.

But a full return to old patterns, as if on autopilot.

Have you ever wondered why this happens?

Because I have.

And honestly — observing people (and myself), self-reflection and digging deeper is my favourite mental sport… or rather, a life one 😉

🧠 FEBRUARY – THE MONTH OF TRUTH

February is simply the month of truth.

It’s the moment when it becomes clear whether you are really changing something…

…or whether you just bought another notebook titled “Plan for a Better Life”,

where the first page looks beautiful, the second is “okay”,and the third one is white like snow in the Netherlands (which means… it doesn’t exist 😉).

Psychologically speaking, most New Year’s resolutions collapse faster than the last gingerbread cookies disappear from the Christmas tin.

(In my house they disappear instantly — my partner eats everything sweet 😉)

And everyone pretends this is normal.

“That the year hasn’t really started yet.”

“That now is a difficult time, so later.”

Or the best one of all:

👉 “From tomorrow.”

The truth is: psychology explained this a long time ago —and it’s surprisingly accurate.

🔥 CARL JUNG, THE BRAIN & AUTOPILOT – WHY YOU STAY STUCK

Carl Jung once said:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious,it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

In plain language:

You can have visions, lists, schedules, mood boards, affirmations, journalingand the whole arsenal of “New Year change rituals”.

But if your old patterns are still behind the wheel —

they will drive you to exactly the same place as last year.

That’s why:

Resolutions don’t fail.

What fails is lack of awareness, lack of a system and trying to create a revolution in one week.

🔥 WHY RESOLUTIONS DON’T WORK

(Facts. Psychology. No bullshit.)

✔️ 1. The brain loves routine and hates change

Change = threat.

Threat = stress.

Stress = “RUN!!!”

Your ego literally says:

“Hey! Why are you messing with this?!

I’m in charge here, not you!

This is safe! Warm! Stable!

Boring, but predictable! I love it!”

The comfort zone is not your enemy.

It’s an alarm system designed to keep you alive

20,000 years ago on the savannah.

Unfortunately, it still runs today

(even though we’re no longer running from tigers 😉).

So even when you just try to start going to the gym,

an inner resistance appears:

👉 “NOOOOO! Not this!”

Yes… I know it well 😉

The only problem is that in 2026 the “tiger” is...

Your new gym schedule.

✔️ 2. People make wishes, not plans

Most people don’t make plans.

They make… wishes.

Typical ones:

– “This year I’ll lose 10 kilos.”

– “I’ll be calmer.”

– “I’ll become a top model.”

– “I’ll find the perfect partner and then I’ll be happy.”

– “I’ll find the perfect job.”

Great!

But…

❓ Where is the system?

❓ Where is the concrete plan?

❓ Where are the micro-steps?

❓ And is it even realistic?

James Clear (the master of habits) says:

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

And that’s the core of it.

✔️ 3. Motivation is a beautiful lie

Psychology is clear:

Motivation lasts a few days.

A system lasts a life time.

Change requires systems and habits — not willpower.

Motivation is like a candle:

Pretty. Romantic.

But it burns out faster than the enthusiasm for running on January 3rd.

Baumeister proved that willpower is exhaustible.

So:

January 1–3 — amazing.

January 5 — drama.

January 10 — “from tomorrow”.

January 15 — “okay, from Monday”.

And so on… until retirement...

✔️ 4. Too many changes at once = fast death of the plan

New Year’s resolutions hide one big lie:

“I will change everything at once.”

And the brain after 10 days says:

“Nope. You’re changing nothing.”

BJ Fogg proved that the smaller the change, the higher the chance it will stay.

But revolutions sound nicer,

so people choose illusion over process.

🌟 WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS

(real change, not social-media performance)

✔️ 1. One change. One goal.

Not seven.

Not fifteen.

One.

Your brain can handle that.

Scientifically proven: a habit needs about 21–30 days.

✔️ 2. Micro-steps, not a 180-degree revolution

A 1% change per day.

Instead of:

“From tomorrow I run a marathon.”

Start with:

“10 minutes of walking.”

Not sexy?

Slow?

Boring?

Yes.👉 But it works.

✔️ 3. The goal must be YOURS

Not what “everyone does”.

Not what you “should” do.

Not what “people will think”.

Psychology is clear:

External goals don’t work.

Internal motivation does.

If you want to be fully yourself —only then can you be truly happy.

✔️ 4. Support and accountability

A Coach/Mentor is not there to “know better”.

You already know what you want.

A Coach/Mentor is there to:

• keep you in the process

• show you where you sabotage yourself

• remind you who you really are —not who you pretend you want to be.

✔️ 5. The comfort zone is a signal, not an enemy

It doesn’t say:

❌ “I’m not good enough.”

It says:

✔️ “I’m afraid. I need a smaller step.”

Huge difference.

🌟 HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR RESOLUTIONS

(a success recipe without magic)

• Start slowly, but realistically

• Take micro-steps

• Give yourself time to adapt

• Notice where you sabotage yourself

• Stop pretending you’ll be “a different person tomorrow”

• Build systems and habits, not just goals

And most importantly:

Don’t give up after failure.

Even if something doesn’t work — try again.

Many people quit after the first stumbleand take away their own chance for change.

If in mid-January you feel like quitting everything — congratulations.

That means you’re human, not a robot.

👉 But keep going.

💛 AT THE END (the essence)

If this year you want changes that actually last —

not ones that disappear in February — I can support you.

You can start with:

• one session

• a mini package

• a longer package — for deeper and more stable change

• or simply a conversation where we checkwhat you really want — not what you “should” want

Change is possible.

But not in the mode:

“New Year = New Me”.

Only in the mode of:

AWARE ME

(aware of strengths and shadows)

CONSISTENT ME

(not giving up, but moving forward)

TRUE ME

(who am I really and what do I want?)

And that’s where everything begins… ✨

🌿 Patrycja

Life & Support Coaching